Do you remember the worst comment someone has ever made about you? I don't know you or anything about that comment, but one thing is certain that it was probably made casually by someone. Nobody thinks twice before making fun of someone or making a joke at someone. But when we hear the same comments again and again, we start to see ourselves through their eyes. For the person making the comment, it may be a matter of seconds. But for the person who hears it repeatedly, those words can stay with them forever. Because a person may forget what you said, but they never, ever forget how you made them feel about themselves.
Insecurity does not come from strangers only, it starts from our own homes. People want their children to be the best at everything, so they proudly show them to the world. But when they are not, they compare them with every other child and tell them how unworthy they are. Very casually, they speak things like this in front of their children, How nice it would be if you were a little fairer, like your sister. Look at that girl, she is really smart, You are completely useless. when a child hears comments like these from their own parents, their innocent hearts slowly start to believe them, and these comments never go away from their minds. In the long term, it shatters their confidence completely. They may also face difficulty in performing on stage, or doing well academically because they are never fully confident in their own personality. And that is how insecurity develops in a child. It starts from their own home.
And this is not just something we imagine. Research has found that these comments can have measurable effects. In one study of 372 middle school girls, 23 percent reported appearance related teasing from a parent, and those experiences were associated with body dissatisfaction and poorer psychological functioning. What makes these comments even more concerning is that their effects do not necessarily disappear with childhood. Research has found that people who experienced weight and appearance related teasing while growing up can carry greater body dissatisfaction into adulthood .
The ugliest thing you can do to a person is make fun of them for traits they have no control over, like their appearance or intelligence. These are things that are, shaped by nature itself. And how do we even decide that someone is beautiful or smart based on certain criteria that we have created ourselves? We create these standards and then try to force them onto other people. And when they do not fit into those standards, instead of calling them different, we call them ugly or dumb. Who are we to decide what nature should have made beautiful?
